Comparing the Incomparable

My mother used to tell me when I was younger that I should stop comparing myself to others because there will always be someone greater or lesser than me. She was right, then and now.

However, I think I wasn’t able to fully understand her warning then, that’s why I’ve done the opposite. It became a habit instead. Comparisons lead only to two things: insecurity or pride. I got no problem with the latter as I grew up, while I had a tough time dealing with insecurity. I had found it hard to believe in my abilities. I always thought that others could do better, and that there’s really nothing I could do that could deserve to receive five stars. I was a victim of some wrong assessment.

Anyway, I have these classmates right now who seem to have inherited a part of Einstein’s brain. I think they’re not humans. Neither was Einstein. How come they can easily understand every page of our Law books while I, on the other hand, have chosen a thesaurus as a much more useful companion than a boyfriend? I would look at them like a tarsier with a broken jaw, and whisper to my seatmate who seem to be as human as I am, “What do they eat that I don’t?”  Well, if I’m still the Old Me, I would definitely go home with a gallon of ice cream that is especially formulated for depressed people.

But not now, not anymore.

I think, somehow, I have overcome that.

How about you? Do you think they’re better than you? I tell you, it doesn’t really matter. Years ago, it mattered to me. But now, I don’t care anymore. I have learned how to value myself as I am. I fear no more being with beautiful ladies or smart people. I am assured of myself and I know this by heart.

As long as I know that there’s Someone out there who loves me no matter how I look, whether I am like a princess or a frog covered with Chin Chun Su. Whether I get 3.0 or flat 1. I am not really concerned about that anymore. I would worry more about my food.

But of course, when I say I accept myself, it doesn’t mean I have to stop taking care of myself or becoming better. It’s just refraining from comparing the incomparable.

Everyone is created differently and is uniquely special. She wears dress; that one prefers BF jeans. One likes books, the other likes alcohol. While everyone has defects, everyone has strengths too. While we are envious of others, someone adores us. Everyone possesses something beautiful. And if you say you do not have any, I will light a candle for you with the words RIP self-worth.

Sometimes, it’s only us who degrade ourselves. Let’s stop that. Insecurity creates a fear of being rejected although we could be actually competent, if we only get too busy to listen to those accusing voices. It robs our potentials by hesitating, makes us enter in a nonsensical rivalry, and urges us to think that we can never be good enough. We are maybe not the best, but hey, it is okay! We are not living to outdo others – we just have to do our part. See them as inspiration, not rivals. We have to learn to appreciate people and to keep believing in ourselves at the same time.

Stop the comparison and you’ll be much happier. That I guarantee. I hope you see your own beauty, your own strength that you fail to acknowledge at times.

You are loved for who you are. Not by all, probably, but somewhere, Someone does.

So learn to embrace yourself, OK?  Just like what an FM Static song says, you are a nice piece of art. Cheers!

By Sunny


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