The Wounded Masculine Heart

As I grow older, I get more convinced that the bulk of our world’s societal issues only require very simple solutions.

And it has less to do with what we should do, and more with what we should become, or rather, to recreate.

I would like to focus on old-age issues which have a lot to do with the masculine identity.

For instance, many countries accept divorce as the solution to the massive number of battered wives and dysfunctional families. It’s not. The simple reason for it is that by permitting divorce, we are telling people that we shouldn’t take marriage very seriously, and that there aren’t serious consequences to making wrong and rash decisions.

Furthermore, we are setting a lower treshold regarding patience, forbearance, and responsibility. Should we be thunderstruck if the next generation of humans will have less tolerance than we have now?

I am not suggesting that we should let battered wives remain battered. Nor am I saying that they have no choice but to bear with the consequences of their vow until they get bludgeoned to death by their abusive husbands. I’m all for women’s rights. And I am very sorry that this has become what we men are.

However, divorce is but a band-aid solution to the great wound that our society has — the forgotten image of men with the genuine masculine heart.

Women also face an onslaught to their identity, albeit in a very different way. For example, majority of the women I know are either pushing feminism or are desperate to be noticed and loved by men.

As much as I like feminism, but I cannot agree that it is the right solution for the reason that the feminine spirit will get overwhelmed by the equally-destructive desire to challenge the strengths of men in their own turfs. That’s futile. You can’t expect women to win in the physical fistfight because it’s not how their bodies were designed.

However, women are undoubtedly the more superior sex in certain areas. These strengths deserve a separate post, so I will not linger on the topic any longer, at least for now.

Men will always be reckless and destructive until they have come to believe that they don’t have to do anything to prove their masculinity, or their worth.

Husbands abuse their wives because they are afraid of losing authority and power, not realizing that being corrected doesn’t mean anything more than it, and that leaders — especially leaders — too make mistakes and need to be reproached and encouraged.

Men do things they would rather not do because they need to prove to themselves that they are capable of accomplishing what they have set their hearts to.

Men will inadvertently cheat on their partners not because they are vessels of libido, but because they have been socially-conditioned to do so, not to mention that they were deprived of a correct fatherly example — one who is violently protective of his own, and aggressive in upholding the dignity of others.

Men will continue to play the little boy’s games, only for the reason that they weren’t honed to fight the real men’s battles.

Men are men, and the phrase ‘man up’ is nothing but a confusing statement telling boys that they have to prove something, especially to themselves. That very reason is one of the causes of men’s irrational and childish behavior.

Until both sexes realize this, then we will continue to keep applying the wrong balm to the wounded man, instead of stitching back the broken masculine spirit.

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