Memento Mori

Last night, we went to the cinema to watch a Filipino movie–something not to my usual preference. But I wasn’t one to complain, especially because it’s not everyday that I get to take a break from writing.

And, no. We didn’t watch The Hows of Us. Can’t expect us to spend too much time falling in line.

What we watched instead was the Filipino adaptation of a South Korean movie named Miss Granny. And I have to tell you, I enjoyed every part of it. Sarah Geronimo’s acting was on point. The cinematics was good, very good. In fact, I didn’t imagine they’d be able to perform according to expectations, but boy, they did. It was at that time when I felt proudest of our country’s abilities.

Kaya rin pala ng Pinoy e. Magaling rin naman pala ang Pinoy e.

But something about the movie pinched my heart to the extent that I would write about it after a couple of months’ hiatus. Heck, I have more readership on my Bitcoin articles than on God Why write then, when nobody’s (virtually) reading?

But the movie got me good. And if I had to suggest why you should watch the movie, it goes more than Sarah G’s performance and James Reid’s good looks.

You should watch the movie, because you will die one day. Many of us might never make it to the stage wherein we’d spoil our grandchildren so much we’d clash with their very parents. Some of us may fare better than Nova Villa, who couldn’t even afford another pair of shoes at an Ukay Ukay outlet. But at the end of the day, we know that there’s always a possibility that we’d never end up waking any longer.

That’s one of the things that we know, but tend to ignore, because it’s futile. But somehow, it’s good to be reminded once in a while that we will never have all the time in the world to do everything we want to.

I almost always spend a considerable amount of my time everyday to do some retrospection. I would always wonder how different my life would have become had I chosen a different path. I could be a nurse now, working abroad, serving foreign clients, all because I couldn’t get the appreciation I deserved here in my country.

I could have met a different woman and may have settled with her for good, instead of keeping faithful to someone whom I can’t even touch. Heck, we’d get frustrated everytime our schedules won’t jive.

I might have been rotting in my grave for years, for all I know.

There are a lot of possibilities which haven’t happened to me, and a lot more which wouldn’t, and it’s no use being worried at all. But I can’t help worrying whether I am living my life to the full or not. And should I end up reaching Nova Villa’s age, I wonder what kind of elderly I’d become.

Would I be someone who’ll be proud of my son’s achievements? Would I resort to relishing something in the distant past instead of accomplishing a new milestone today? Would I be happy at all? Would I be able to hear God say, “Well done, good and faithful servant?”

Those are the things I keep thinking about. Those are the things that death keeps on reminding me.

I know I haven’t figured lot of things yet, but let me suggest to you a couple of resolutions I have arrived at after all my contemplation and my failures.

Time is a resource.

There will be instances where you’ll feel that time is your enemy. A good opportunity slips by because you weren’t ready for it. A person walks away from you because you weren’t mature enough. Or so we think.

But if we were to look at our past, present, and future altogether, we’ll notice that more often than not, we are the very ones who believed we didn’t deserve the person, or that we weren’t good enough for the opportunity.

I always feel like I don’t deserve my girlfriend. Everyone who knows where knows how golden her heart is. But I keep her. Despite the scoundrel that I am, but in her sight, I am the most desirable person in the whole world (after Jericho Rosales). And I might never have enough time to show her how much I am grateful for her, but I do have the time now.

Time is a resource, and just like any resource, time can be depleted. But we can always spend it wisely while we still have it.

Time can be redeemed.

Nobody’s wise enough to get everything right the first time. Unless you believe in reincarnation, then you’ll agree with me that this is our first time living a life, and this is probably our last.

Inadvertently, we make mistakes. Even the best of us do. But as I have noticed with many people we look up to, they all have their fare share of mistakes and mishaps. Yet, they were able to bounce back simply because they knew how to learn the lesson from the failure and to leverage it to get it rightly the next time.

Time, even those that are spent making mistakes, can be redeemed. We just need to shake away the disappointment and rise up from the ashes of our failures. We may never deserve second chances, but so what? I’d much rather die trying than perish without fighting.

Time is a wrinkle.

I do believe in a world or dimension, whichever you prefer, wherein time is nothing but a foreign construct, a mere wrinkle in eternity.

If so, then death is just part of that wrinkle. I can live forever, and forever would not be even an idea at all–it would be a natural part of life, one which we don’t even have a word for since we don’t even notice it.

And because I will live forever, then I need not worry about trivial things like what others would say if I fail in my attempt to pursue my noblest desires, or if I become seen as an arrogant person because I’m writing and giving tips as if I’m a better person. I’m not, and this is the drawback in writing–I have to make my words as loud as my actions, and sometimes, my words are my actions.

Finally, if time is a wrinkle, then I can perhaps iron it out–at least my life. Death, or the prospect of it, will not hinder me, just as it did not hinder my savior from accomplishing his purpose. Paradoxical as it seems, but death was one of the things that helped him accomplish his purpose.

By and large, he’s the only one who promised to give me life and life to the full. Ironically, to have that, there’s only one prerequisite–that for me to find life, I must die, and on a daily basis.

I’d take the challenge.

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